I just thought you should know, you shouldn’t wear brown shoes with black pants. brown shoes used to go out with black pants, and then they broke up, and now it’s all awkward. Plus, black pants moved on a lot quicker than brown shoes, and started going out with black shoes, like, the next week.
Brown shoes didn’t really get over it for a while. I mean, they sort of had a thing going with khaki pants, but…khaki pants sort of have a thing going with everyone right now, if you know what I mean.
Poor brown shoes. The problem is, there’s no one brown shoes are really perfect for. I mean, yes, brown shoes have always felt some chemistry with green pants, but to be honest, green pants are really just hung up on black shoes, too.
Black shoes…they just…have it, you know? All the pants can see themselves with black shoes. It’s not black shoes’ fault. They’re just being who they are, and that’s awesome. Hell, brown shoes think black shoes are great. They’ve been friends for years.
(sigh) Brown shoes just really thought they had something going with black pants. I know, I know, it seems silly. They seemed mismatched right from the start. And they were introduced to each other by white tube socks, so they were already starting off in weird territory.
But it worked, you know? For that night, it…just seemed to work. They were at a bar; it was dark; everything just seemed OK.
But the next morning…everything was different. Brown shoes were all talkative and excited, hopeful that a something new was budding. Black pants just folded up. Brown shoes tried to ignore it at first, passing it off as that awkwardness comes with any first time fashion combination.
But pretty soon it was clear that the interest had waned. Or was never there to begin with.
“Wanna go see a movie with me on Friday?” asked brown shoes, with sheepish optimism. “No, I’m being ironed Friday, I think, or maybe I’m at the cleaners,” replied black pants.
It wasn’t so much what they said as how they said it, the way black pants avoided looking brown shoes directly in the laces.
And so, over time, without any real clarification, brown shoes got the message. “I wish they would’ve just said something out right,” whimpered brown shoes. And now, when they see black pants with black shoes, they sigh and order another beer. They know it’s right. It’s a better match. There’s no way brown shoes and black pants would’ve really lasted.
And yet…
(sigh)
Well, brown shoes is doing better now. They’re seeing a pair of shorts these days. It’s fun. A summer fling. They never really get too close, but maybe that’s best. Brown shoes don’t need any more heartache. Maybe one day, a pair of pants will come along that really understands brown shoes. Maybe. But brown shoes are getting scuffed. They’ve needed new soles for a while. It might be pretty much over for brown shoes.
Ah, well. At least, for that one night, brown shoes felt that magical connection that comes along with a perfect clothing match.
Anyway, yeah, brown shoes don’t go with black pants. So change one or the other. Yes, it’s easier to change the shoes, I know. But maybe, this one time, change the pants, and leave on the brown shoes.
It would mean a lot to me.
I mean, to brown shoes.
(sigh) I mean me.