Let’s abolish the penny from American currency. Why? Because I’m torn. I’m torn when I’m buying something, and I pay one penny more than what I owe. Do I:
- Wait, like a materialistic, scrooge-like miser, to receive my one penny, basically admitting that money means so much to me that I will waste fifteen to twenty seconds of my life for one single stupid worthless cent?
- Let the cashier know I don’t want the penny back by saying “Keep the change” or something equivalent, implying that I’m somehow tipping the cashier, that I think the he/she is so poor and I’m doing him/her a big favor with my one single stupid worthless cent?
I’m torn.
So let’s abolish the penny. I think we’ll need to have a constitutional amendment or a national vote or something. Whatever it is, we should hurry up and get the process started.
Because I need to give this clerk money for this Reese’s “Fast Break.” And the people in line behind me are getting really impatient.
Editor’s note: Read Andy’s initial take on The Abolition of the Penny.