My big moment comes one afternoon in the office. I’m working away on my usual tasks, unprepared for what is about to occur.
Laura pokes her head around the corner. “John! It’s the White House – for you.” Wide-eyed she points to the blinking phone line at my desk. I pick up the receiver. “This is John.”
“John, this is the President of the United States,” says a voice at the other end. I am grateful he clarifies, should it be some other president.
“Yes, Mr. President?”
“John, we need you here. There’s a car outside. Your time has come.”
Grimly I hang up the phone. I’d always expected it – I’ve prepared for years for this moment but somehow never expected it to have come just now. I pack up my things and head downstairs.
I am met in the parking lot by a stern-faced tall man in a trench coat. He ushers me towards a black Lincoln idling by the door. A black government suburban with flashing lights is in front of us and guides us through the busy Washington traffic. The tall man hands me a stack of files, but I wave them away. “No thanks, it’s all right here,” I say, tapping my forehead.
Five minutes later, we arrive outside the West Wing. A secret service agent opens the door. I step out into the cool air and am led past a uniformed Marine into the White House. As I step into the busy building, I note the relief on the faces of the harried aides rushing around the building. They know they’ve got the best.
I am met by the National Security Advisor who escorts me deep into the White House. We arrive at the end of a long hallway, and a uniformed Marine opens the double doors into the Situation Room. I take a seat at the end of the long table and study the concerned faces of the uniformed officials on either side of me. I sip casually from the gin and tonic that appears at my side (hey, it’s my fantasy), “Well Mr. President… how are things?”
The President stands up and points to the screen behind him. “The Premier of China has poised several divisions of the Chinese military on the border of India. We believe that any move across the border could trigger a nuclear exchange between the two countries that could devastate the entire region.”
I nod coolly. “Bad luck, that.”
“Yes. He says that he’ll stop only on one condition….”
“And that’s where I come in, is it?”
“Yes. He wants us to name the seven actors who played the title character during Doctor Who’s initial 26 season run.”
I impassively regard the group of anxious faces around me. This is the moment I have lived my 26 years on this earth for. I nod and pick up the red phone at my elbow.
“Ni hao, Mr. Premier,” I say calmly. “I believe the information you’re looking for is William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, and Sylvester McCoy.”
I listened for a moment and then hung up the phone. “He wants to talk to you Mr. President.” The President nodded and picked up the phone.
I slump back in my chair, taking a moment to relax now that the pressure is off. A moment later, however, I am shaken to see the Preisdent’s face grow pale. Putting his hand over the receiver, he asks, “Does anyone know anything about Weezer?”