I met my mortal enemy today: someone willing and able to be as apologetic as I am. I was getting out of the elevator, when lo and behold, there were people waiting to get on (all right, it wasn’t that surprising, but I’m trying to spice it up). As I was stepping out, a gentleman – and I call him a gentleman because so far I have been given no evidence to the contrary – began walking into the elevator. So in my typical behavior, I apologized. I covered all my bases. I apologized for walking out of the elevator, for coming to that particular floor, for even being in the elevator in the first place. He shot right back with, “No, sir. I’m very sorry.” I was thrown.
I’m usually the only one in situations who apologizes for no apparent reason. At some point in my life I believe I was told to substitute “I’m sorry” for: “pardon me”, “can I get through”, “you’ve dropped something”, “I feel your embarrassment”, “how are you”, “hello”, “goodbye”, and any other short phrase or sentence that can be muttered in transient conversation. You see, being sorry for myself and others is my way of life.
Some people might say that there is no reason, more than half the time, for me to apologize. That I am not in the wrong when someone hits me in the face. But I say “sorry” for getting in the way of their fist. People have labeled it a disease, a way of avoiding conflict. Some have shouted at me, said I’m not taking a stand on my own beliefs. Others have screamed as they sit on my chest and beat the living hell out of me. Well, I am sick of it!
So what if I apologize profusely? You gonna do something about it? I’m being polite. I’d rather you just accept your superfluous apology and get in that damn elevator. Count yourself lucky. You got through the day all right, and some random guy (me) gave you an apology for no reason. One for you, zero for life. You’re on top, baby, and I’m the one who put you there. Unless, of course, you don’t like that plan. Then I’m sorry. I won’t write a thought of the day again.
For further reading, see also On Saying You’re Sorry