Mitch: Hey Jerry, thanks for coming over to help plan this church banquet. Gwen and the kids are out of town so I’ve been all alone here in the house. Well, me and little Jacob’s pet tarantula. I should show it to you, it’s pretty neat. Now where is it?
Jerry: You mean you’ve lost it? You’ve lost it? It’s loose! Oh no!
Mitch: No. I just forgot where I put his container. It’s over there next to the phone that’s all. So anyway, I was talking to Pastor Thompson and he’s guessing that there’ll be around 120 people or so coming, and…
Jerry: It’s crawling up my leg!
Mitch: What?
Jerry: The tarantula is crawling up my leg!
Mitch: No, no it’s not. That’s just your cell phone vibrating in your pocket. You’re being really weird about this tarantula and there’s no reason for it. OK? Now I’ve come up with some ideas for entrees. I’m drawing a blank on good dessert ideas though…
Jerry: Why are you staring at my forehead? It’s on my forehead! Oh no oh no oh no! There’s a spider on my forehead! Quick we need to start screaming and running around and knocking over furniture and hitting each other with various objects as we try to kill it! Go!
Mitch: NO NO NO! Stop it! Look, the spider is in a locked and sealed aquarium. It’s never gotten out. It’s never going to get out. If it did get out it would probably crawl into a dark secluded corner and not on your head. But that’s a moot point because there’s no way it’s getting out. That’s ridiculous. So just stop it. Stop it with all of this silly nonsense. Sheesh. Now I’d really like to get back to planning the banquet.
Jerry: Sorry Mitch, I just got a text-message from my wife. Apparently she’s stuck in an elevator. I’d better get over there and try to get her out before she gives birth.
Mitch: Dammit Jerry, your wife isn’t pregnant!
Jerry: What?
Mitch: Forget it. Just go. But I’m not taking the blame if there’s no dessert at this banquet!