I caved in.
It seems like more and more people today have a cell phone. I like to be like people, so I too decided it was a good idea to have one. Why? It has many bonus features, or so I’ve been told. For instance:
- You can be reached by anyone at anytime.
- You can reach anyone at anytime.
- My mom said that if I got a flat tire, and there was a guy with a meat hook outside my door, I could call the police. And Triple-A. I don’t know what Triple-A’s policy on guys with meat hooks is, but I imagine they frown on it.
- Cheap long distance.
- Nibbles (The Worm Game).
- Free answering machine built in.
- Beethoven’s 5th Symphony.
So I bought my cell phone. Off-peak minutes and all. What is the first thing I learn about cell phones? That using it will give me brain cancer. So I got an earphone/microphone gadget so I can keep my cell phone in my pocket so no brain cancer comes my way. Then what? Well, I learned nobody has my new number. And nobody’s too urgent to call me. But I’ve got my earphone–cell phone in pocket. Waiting for a call.
Oh yeah, now I’ve got leg cancer now where my cell phone sits in my pocket.
I threw away my earphone.