Lando Calrissian, you know what you are? No, besides Billy D. Williams. Yup, that’s right. You’re a genius. Why in our great land of expansion and exploration have we stopped our movement upwards? We seem so content on sprawling real estate outward, but that makes no sense. Check your heads ladies, we’ve hit the coasts, the only way to go is up. Lando lived in the clouds. Shit, he ruled the clouds, and if it’s good enough for Star Wars, then count me in.
Okay, so what if you can’t actually walk or live on clouds? We all learned that in college. The real issue is how we’re gonna build up some apartment buildings so that we can start parachuting to work. I mean, don’t question how we’re gonna build these massive monoliths…have you seen how big they make cranes now? I mean, like…uh, they’re really big! Like trees! With other trees connected to them! Man cranes, you guys are sweet.
Plus, if you start building into the clouds we can finally start building the intricate system of zip lines I keep writing my senator about. Come on people, if you could take a zip line thirty miles to work, you would crap your pants with joy. This would free up tons of room for playing sports and planting flowers, and let’s not forget about the elevator industry which would essentially get on its knees and blow you for allowing this to happen. I mean how many times have you prayed to your god, asking to live on a floor with four digits? Exactly.
Plus, do you realize how much potential energy you would have while you were in your own home? Yeah, when was the last time you felt energy at the end of the work day. Yeah, you could argue that planes would hit the buildings, but that’s not gonna be a problem when we’re all flying commercial space shuttles. Checkmate.