It is often said of honesty that it is the best policy. I disagree with this.
Now, don’t get me wrong, honesty is a pretty good policy. But the best policy? No way.
The best policy was the Marshall Plan, which ushered a new age of economic development and political stability into post-World War II Western Europe.
I mean, hey, nothing against honesty. But was honesty the most successful nation-building effort in world history? And, hmm, I can’t remember, but did it hasten the fall of global communism? Ooo, and was it honesty that recreated the shattered fascist axis of Germany and Italy into the model states they are today? Hmm, let me see, I guess that would be… no, no, and no. It was the mothergrabbin’ Marshall Plan, people.
So the next time your friend Eric asks you whether you slept with his girlfriend (which you totally did) and you’re unsure of how to react, screw that honesty bullshit. Employ the best policy. Employ the Marshall Plan.
So, basically, I’m suggesting you give Eric eleven billion dollars and never ask him to repay it.
Problem solved.
Oh, and it might be a good idea to set up several military bases within his apartment, too.