Of all the places to hide, there are few better than in milk. It’s just a great hiding place. No one expects it, and I think this is because they rule out the entire beverage category when thinking of hiding places. It is true that most beverages are clear, or clear-ish, and thus don’t offer the lack of visibility needed to hide well. But milk is opaque–genius!
Another big advantage of hiding in milk is the size. It comes in small containers usually, and so when people are looking for me, they generally look in person-sized hiding places. Hence the genius of hiding in a quart of milk.
It’s sheer brilliance. I like the idea so much that I’ve taken to hiding in milk even when I don’t need to hide. My friend Balthus will say to me, “Where were you all weekend?” and I’ll tell him, “Just hiding in milk.”
Editor’s note: Of course a good exception to the clear-beverage assumption is Yoo-Hoo or perhaps milk-choclatey Quik, but as we all know, these are milk-like beverages, therefore falling into the category of milk or milky-roozles.
Guest Columnist