Hey, thanks for coming here today, my son. The village elder has advice for you. Much have I learned in my eighty years on this Earth.
Look, you’re going to be nominated for village chief this year, and I just wanted to say, you know: with great power comes great responsibility. So don’t think that you necessarily want great power, OK?
Of course, also with great power comes some really cool looking hats. Which is nice. I mean, all the village chiefs gets some pretty amazing hats. Not just one, either. There’s a ceremonial one, an everyday one, one you wear only during the lunar festival. They’re all really pretty great. One has real falcon feathers in it.
And, you know, now that I think about it, most of the time, with great power comes a great deal of money and fame. You’ll get the nicest hut in the village and all will know your name. Usually, too, you get all the sex you need. That’s, heh, I mean that’s just no secret. And throngs of people willing to obey your beck and call. Me included, really. I mean, you’ll have the power to kill any of us. So, we’ll all pretty much do what you like. You won’t be questioned. The finest foods, the quickest horses, the most lovely vacation homes: all come with great power.
So, anyway, don’t, uh, think that… well, I sort of lost my train of thought here. Don’t…don’t thi–
Hey, you know what else you get with great power? The ability to inspire fear in your enemies. I don’t mean like with masks either (though I bet you’d have access to some amazing masks, like with demon faces and everything). I mean, you will command an army of thousands willing to take on anybody you like. You could essentially threaten to wipe out an entire other tribe and totally make good on that threat. So cool.
Anyway, I don’t know why exactly you called me here toda– oh, did I? Hmm.
Well, it was something about great power and its consequences. Let’s see….
Must’ve been the hats. Right, so again remember: with great power comes some really cool looking hats. So get your head measured and always have those measurements handy. Don’t, uh, don’t get caught offguard when they ask you for those.
Man. I wish I was village chief. There’s just…I mean, I see no downside, you know?
So, go my young friend, seek great power with reckless abandon! Heh, I remember having this same conversation with the previous chief, may he rest in peace. Yes, well, his suicide was a surprise to us all, my son.
He apparently hadn’t been doing well ever since he accidentally ordered the army to destroy that village of children. It weighed heavily on him. Too heavily, I imagine. And so he jumped off the great cliff.
What a waste. What a waste of a good man. And what a waste of an amazing falcon hat.