You know, it’d be really difficult for fish to take over the world. Because they’d have to imprison all the humans first, and to do that they’d have to trick us all into coming into the ocean so they could tie us up.
So, if you’re ever on a beach, and you see a fish beckoning you to come into the surf, and it’s got one fin behind its back, and you can sort of make out that it seems to be holding rope and duct tape, you need to do the following: Turn around slowly. Walk to the nearest phone. And call the president. (If they seem hesitant to patch you through, just say, “It’s about the fish. What we’ve always feared is happening.” Just so they’ll know you’re not screwing around.)