Recent surveys have shown that 85% of Americans are in some way discontent with their lives. A sad statistic, no doubt, but one which is not hard to imagine. The problem with living in this lone superpower is that everyone is either over or underachieving. Well, all those overachieving are under-contented, and all those underachieving are over-contented. This of course begs the question, whatever happened to just achieving, essentially, being average?
We need to get back to our roots as Americans of just “getting by.” We need to remember that a C grade will pass the class and not stir the water too much, because we all remember what momma used to say, “If you stir the water, you’re gonna make waves.” And most people would agree that waves kill people.
There’s nothing wrong with being in the middle, unnoticed and passive. A lot of great things have stuck to the middle road. Great things like the equator, the donut hole, and transsexuals, and aren’t they what America is all about anyway?
So here is a call to you America, to make our country great again. To do what our founding fathers did when they got to this fair land; figure out what you have to do to avoid being frozen in winter or killed by natives, and just do that much. My gosh, anything else and you might start sweating, and that’s no fun for anyone.