For my birthday this year, I request for this to be arranged:
I would like a room filled with monkeys. I would like these monkeys trained to operate computers and adding machines and dry erase boards. I would like these monkeys taught basic economics and be given $30,000 and access to a phone, a fax machine, and the Internet.
I would like the door to the room closed.
I would like to be allowed to then burst through the door and yell, “All right, knock off all this monkey business!”
I would then like understanding as I giggle incessantly for about two hours.
My birthday is December 7th. If you loved me you’d do it.