In reading the title for today’s thought, I realize that my lack of maturity and love of poop jokes makes the content more or less a foregone conclusion.
Well, you’re right.
Yes, today, we’re going to take an honest look at horny animals. Specifically: the Rhino. Why the Rhino? Well, I think it’s quite obvious. Rhinos love to have sex. Granted their sharp, pointy appendages might suggest otherwise, but there are several examples throughout nature of such mistaken animals. Like Rabbits. Bunny rabbits are usually thought of as cuddly and cute – again a misunderstanding. Bunny’s are ferocious, caniving, fluffy terrors. They killed my grandpa in a knife fight, so don’t argue with me on this one.
But back to horny animals. There are a great deal of well known horny animals in nature: horny toads, narwhals, Triceratops. But there are also, the mistakenly horny animals. Such as dogs. Dogs are not horny in the least bit. They are simply overly affectionate and have no concept of personal space. The differences are small, but we all must understand them if we are to foster these animals’ well being in their natural habitat.
Then again, the brass section of the New York Philharmonic is horny, but as far as I know they get nothing.
Guest Columnist