Everyone always thinks things were so wonderful ten years ago. When you’re a teenager, you wish you were a kid. When you’re in your twenties, you wish you were back in high school. When you’re in your thirties, you wish you were in college again.
There is one big exception.
You’ll rarely overhear a ten-year-old say, “Man, I wish I was a fetus again.”
“(Sigh),” he’d sigh. “Things were simpler then…back when it wasn’t just a soft spot, it was a whole damn soft head.”
“That was the life,” he’d say. “I had my own place, a nice rent-controlled one bedroom. Plenty of amniotic fluid to go around. Didn’t have to breath, didn’t have to eat, didn’t have to deficate.”
“Thems were the days,” he’d reminisce. “Back when my huge alien-like head far outweighed my tiny underdeveloped body, back when I was indistinguishable from most other species of vertabrates, back when I still looked like I might develop a tail…anything was possible!”
He’d pause, take a swig of root beer, and get a far off look in his eye. “You can’t live in the past,” he’d think. “I’ve got to accept what my life is now. Even if it has become mindless drudgery.”
Then he’d go play video games and watch TV and forget about the whole thing.
I mean, at that age, you have, like, no attention span. None, brother! Heh heh….
Ah, man. That takes me back.
(Sigh)…things were so wonderful when I was ten….