In an attempt to become more environmentally conscious, I began my own movement yesterday: the un-domestication of animals. For far too long, dogs, cats, and many other animals have suffered the injustice of human rule. Trained to sit, to stay, to play dead? These animals are being brainwashed. They are being denied their God-given right to exist as they please. Hunting. Foraging. Preening. Licking their privates.
Our society has all but forgotten what the world was like before the time of domesticated animals, but I think we must revisit it to better understand its merits. My limited imagination prevents me from doing this, so I must ask you to quietly reflect on this alone. Think of an animal in its current status. Then place it free to roam the earth. See the wonder and excitement!
- Imagine the dog: frolicking about and chasing things.
- Imagine the hamster: running away from the dog.
- Imagine the chicken: loping through the open plain…or rather, bounding across the high grass…or…OK, I’m not sure how you should imagine the chicken. Perhaps chickens never were wild. We’ll skip that one.
- Imagine the moo-cow, though: lazily sunning itself with a daiquiri in the mid-day swelter of Mexico.
- Imagine the horse: growing an opposable thumb; creating basic tools at first, then more complex; learning the mysteries of the atom and of its sinister possibilities; banding together in tribes which lead to cities and civilized government; and finally on some distant day looking off to an open pasture and shedding a solitary tear for a better time long past. The horse would then probably pour some of its forty on the grass “for the homeys.”
My movement has begun. You, too, can join in. Liberate these animals. Set them free to live their own lives. Just make sure you give them a little spending money before they go.