Last I checked, Batman hasn’t been doing squat for a few years.
“Why?” you plea, in response to my baiting.
“Well,” I say, “I have an idea why.”
“An idea. Geez. You’d think you’d have a little more than that.”
“OK. Well, I’m pretty sure why Batman ain’t makin’ no house calls these days.”
“OK. Shoot.”
“All right,” I begin. “You see–“
“No. No. We didn’t mean you. We were talking to our sniper. We’re tired of you.”
“Oh. Well, I still know if you want to hear.”
“OK, well, to be honest, our sniper’s not too good of a shot, so we’ll give you some time to explain this Batman theory.”
“Good. Then I shall dispense with the quotation marks,” I thought. You see, he got fired. Really. You see Gotham was perfect for Batman for a while. Lots of crime. Few antitrust laws to disrupt Mr. Wayne’s stranglehold on industry. Poor air quality as well as a rather crappy climate. What more could Batman ask for?
Unfortunately, Batman proved no match for political correctness, and he soon found himself the poster boy for many environmental issues–specifically the incessant cloud cover and perpetual night that had plagued Gotham for some 589 issues. Where does this pose a problem for Batman? Well, with the Bat signal of course.
Really.
With the cloud cover gone, the Bat signal had nothing to reflect off of. This of course proved to the Commissioner once and for all what a tool the Dark Knight was. What use is a superhero that can only be called at night when there happens to be inclement weather? Nothin’. So there it is. And that’s why you won’t be seeing a Batman 5 anytime.
“Good,” you flippantly remark to your sniper. “You finally shot him. What’d that take six tries? You suck.”
“Sorry,” mutters the sniper.**