On a Polish Guy and an Italian Girl

A Polish guy and an Italian girl walk into a bar. They sit down and each order a beer.

The bartender says, “We don’t have any beer, but I’ve got whiskey. How about two whiskeys on the rocks?”

The Polish guys say, “Well, I don’t usually drink liquor, but OK.” The Italian girl says, “You go ahead, but I think I’ll just have water.”

The bartender brings the whiskey and the water and says, “That’ll be $6.” The Polish guy takes out his wallet, and pays the $6, then leaves $2 for a tip.

The Polish guy and the Italian girl get up from the bar and sit in a corner booth with their drinks. The Polish guy takes a sip of his drink and says, “Hey! This tastes like water!” The Italian girl takes a sip of her drink and says, “Hey! This water tastes like beer!”

The Polish guy turns to the bartender and says, “Hey bartender, this whiskey I ordered is actually water, while this water my girl ordered tastes like beer! What gives?”

The bartender says, “Right, didn’t you say you wanted–“

“Actually, it’s fine, bartender,” says the Italian girl. “Could you leave us alone for a few minutes?” The bartender says, “Of course.”

The Italian girl then proceeds to tell the Polish guy that she doesn’t love him like she used to when they first met. She doesn’t know why, but it just doesn’t feel right anymore.

“What are you saying? You just want to end it? We can work on this,” says the Polish guy. The Italian girl sobs, and through her tears says, “We’ve been working on it. We’ve been working on it, and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know what to do.”

“Is it something I’m doing wrong? What’s wrong? We can work on this,” says the Polish guy helplessly. “It’s nothing you’ve done. You’re perfect. I’ve never met anyone like you. I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know,” says the Italian girl.

“No, I don’t… this was it. This was it. This can’t end. This is it,” says the Polish guy, whitefaced and tearless. “I don’t know. I don’t know. You’re so wonderful. You deserve someone better. Someone who can give you everything you want. I just don’t know,” says the Italian girl.

“But this… this was it. Is there someone else? Did you meet someone?” says the Polish guy, reaching for something tangible to get upset at. “There’s no one else. I love you. I just… I don’t know,” says the Italian girl. “It’s not working. I don’t know. I’m so sorry.”

The Italian girl hugs the Polish guy, who hangs limp in her arms. She leaves the booth and the bar and his life, and the Polish guy sits without blinking for several minutes. A classic rock song blares on the cable radio.

The bartender walks over to the Polish guy and says, “So… do you want to know about the whiskey being water and water being beer?”

“No. No thanks,” says the Polish guy. “I’m not in the mood for jokes.” He then gets up and walks around his neighborhood until the sun comes up.

Did you like this Thought? Sure did. No, I did not.