Nomar, I love you. You knew that right? I mean, I never heard from you, but I assume that you got all my cards and mix cd’s. Haha, I bet you loved that one with Shuggie Otis on it!
I know that you’re not going to Chicago to spite me, it’s just how things go. Not quite sure why you didn’t want help moving, though. I was in the bushes waiting for you to call my cellphone. I bet your wife is pretty mad. I hope she stays strong and keeps the place in Boston tidy while you’re gone. It would be so crazy if you came to Chicago and started a Platonic love affair with another Boston expatriate because she wasn’t around. Crazy.
I’m sorry you didn’t get to play with your number 5 for the first game. 8 was a great number, though. Did you know that I was born on the 8th day of the 8th month in 1980? Oh, of course you did, because I put it on my blog. It’s pretty crazy that you went from the team who has gone the second longest without a championship, to the team who has gone the longest. You must love curses! Nomar, you’re so interesting. Like, how you love curses and stuff. I could just spend hours at the planetarium with you, having you explain constellations to me.
You remember that banana bread I left on your car outside Fenway? How was it? We get great bananas here in Chicago. They come straight from Ecuador! I could make you banana bread. I could also substitute a banana for a stick of butter in a cookie recipe, if, say, you wanted some white chocolate chunk cookies…your favorite. Oh Nomar, I could do so many things for you. Just say the word. I will be there promptly in my van.
Nomar, that baseball I signed and sent you, was an actually MLB ball. I got it on Lansdowne Street when David Ortiz hit a home run. I told everyone you hit it, though. I will lie for you Nomar. I will tell stories wide and far of your sweet benevolence even if you continue to give me the silent treatment. I could never say anything bad about you. Not even that you lied to the Red Sox about the health of your heel to induce a trade. Why would I say that? I mean, why would I post it on an internet site? I mean, how could someone ever be jilted by you and go and do that?
You know what people who love other people a lot do? Sometimes they call and send flowers. Sometimes they cut other people’s brake lines. I love you Nomar.
I told you that I love in Chicago, right? I can’t remember if I wrote it on the cake or signed it to you through the television at your press conference. Either way, just call, okay? I’m not doing anything this month.