On the way to work today I discovered that I could fly.
It was quite by accident really. I tripped over my own feet, as I often do, but in my flailing on the way toward the ground, I caught a solid gust of air, and suddenly I was aloft.
At first, I wasn’t very adept at the whole process. I had little to no control over my speed or direction. I’d flutter this way and that; I was the object of much ridicule from nearby birds. But I was a quick learner. Soon I came to realize that it was not the flapping in my arms that kept me in the air, but my belief in myself.
I was flying because I felt good about me. Realizing this was an incredible epiphany. I lost all wants and desires. I existed just to exist. I came to understand that the birds shared my joy. They, as all things in nature, existed together, everywhere at once. Their laughter had not been because of mocking; they knew I was bound to achieve their same level of spiritual satisfaction. They were laughing in happiness that a new being was entering thier conciousness.
I became aware of all the secrets of nature and the universe. I achieved complete and utter happiness and calm. I understood that all humans possess the ability to exist in one mind, that all evolution is leading toward this goal. I was filled with hope and joy beyond my wildest dreams.
I bid adieu to my avian adversaries and landed outside my office building.
I noticed it was 9:42.
I had left my apartment at 9:00.
It took 42 minutes to fly to work.
I can take the subway and get there in 30.
12 minutes faster, man.
I never flew to work again.